Should we be doing x, y or z? Is this a smart move for the future of the band? I s this a smart move for me as a person? etc.
It doesn't stop there however, I find myself thinking late at night about those who I have lost or who have left. Trying to find some form of acceptance about how certain things have worked out. Pondering how I have gotten here and what is it that I am really moving towards? I know I am not seeking the "American Dream" 2.5 children, a mortgage, and working for the weekends or the random vacation, not that its bad, it's just simply,..... not me.
This train tour is proof of that. We set off last saturday for a two week tour by train across the USA. This is probably the most mellow tour we've been on. We've gotten to see friends in each city. There has been a little bit of hassle when it comes to loading our gear from train to venue to hotel to train, but other then that it has been inspirational and rejuvenating. Here is a shot of the 5 of us Egressians loaded into a cab, lol.
Our entire crew of people get along great. Everyone has been considerate of each others space and moods. We have all worked together when it comes to packing and you would not believe what we have been able to pack into our cabs! One of the things I love most about touring, is the time spent with the other performers you are touring with. Working alongside professionals who have a shared goal,… to make their art, their lives mission. Its inspiring and refreshing. It helps me get grounded when I am spending most of my time "trying to figure things out" or when I wake up to a really hurtful email that temporarily makes me feel lost and alone. Most artists / performers that are running their own DIY future have the same concerns. Plus, you get to hear their songs night after night! From every tour I have beautiful melodies stuck in my head from the bands we've played with. From our tours with Joe Black, his charming rendition of Money Makes the World Go Round, to Hellblinki's These bubbles came from ants or even better yet my personal favorite,.. "I am"or their killer version of Bella Ciao which EGRESS has spent many a night dancing too. And don't forget Uncle Volty's Riding a Black Unicorn or Miss Mousie's Dumpsters and Dive Bars. When Taylor and I did the steampunk cruse we were graced by Unwomans haunting lyrics and cello. And now, it is Frenchy and The Punk and The Cog is Dead. Both of who are wonderful people just fighting their way along because they love to play. Its seems rather silly, That music keeps so many of us going and bonded together. It doesn't fill our bellies when we are hungry, it doesn't keep us warm when its cold or protect us from the storms, yet we fight every odd with every inch of our might to continue.
The splendor and beauty of the countryside via train window has been unexplainable. The massive wide open spaces, the canyons and mountains. It leaves me thinking of days long ago when settlers faced a similar journey in much tougher times. In saying similar I mean, people leaving what they have in search for something more. Here is a shot of the glory there is no filter or editing used.
(again no filter just natural wonder. )
I am watching my friends, band mates and comrades gaze upon the same horizon and a similar future. I sometimes wonder how we all got here, but here we are. Friends are the family we choose for ourselves and our songs are the glue. I fear one day if the songs fade the family may drift,….. but these experiences that mold me into the human I am becoming,.. will always be here and will always be between us. I love the road. Despite the fact that it is hard work on your body and spirit, and you need to be adaptable and realize its not nearly as glamorous as it seems half the time. But even still, that being said,..... it gets into your bones, the music, the travel, the wanderlust, the song. It becomes apart of your DNA. It becomes the only way you know how to breath. It really helps that Taylor is beside me helping me fight the good fight every step of the way and that the rest of the Egress crew supports and hold faith in the choices that Taylor and I make for the betterment of the band. Its really easy to become the bad guy. Its even easier to blame others and not see your part in things. Somehow through the endless nights and the stress of the road, we've remained a unit and THAT makes the good fight worth it. I will blog more about the comings and going of the tour,… especially once its over. With full details on each city and show. I will be sure to go into a bit more detail about This Way to the Egress on the "Crazy Train" I leave you now with this,.............
