Leaving The Curtains Open ~ a peeping toms history ~

I know I am supposed to be posting part 2 of the tour blog but i just had these thought rattling my brain and they shook me up inside to my core.

I just got back for a run.  Which in its self is all very new to me.  I have decided that it is good to do things that are out side your nature and things you simply don't want to do.  It builds character.  Anywho, It was a half hour jog around our neighborhood.  The sun was beginning to set and the sky was amazing and all of a sudden my brain was filled with all of these thoughts and memories and with you,.... I will now share this.  The skies of my childhood/life and the feelings they'd give me.

I grew up in a small trailer with an addition built on it, down a long dirt lane with pot holes in the middle of the pocono mountains.  There were many of us who had lived there over the years, but always and mostly it was My mom, Myself, My brother Casey and my sister Karen, and Amy.  I spent most of my youth gathered with Amy and my friends at the top of my driveway looking at the stars.  They were the best night skies.  There was little-to-none light pollution in the poconos at that time.  Me and my best friend would talk about our dreams and ideas, sort out our feelings and misunderstood youthful hormones and mostly boys.  We talked a lot about boys.  I miss her.  I miss those night skies buried in the mountain with my adulthood ahead of me and a child-like closeness with my siblings.

After the trailer, my boyfriend of many years, Josh and I moved into a little apartment in Shawnee a bit south of where I grew up but still in the poconos.  We called it the redneck compound.  We found the apt through his co-worker and our land lords lived on the massive property which also had, cows, chickens and a pack of dogs.  We live on the top of this GIANT hill called Mosers Knob Road.  There was a steep decline down the long gravel road called Rolling Rock Lane that led back to the compound and in the winter when the leaves would fall from the trees we could see the sun set miles and miles away through the trees, over the valley, into the mountains. I felt on top of the world there. Not emotionally speaking, but quite literally.  We would nurse many hang overs by ordering pizza from our favorite spot and curling up in the living room to Lord of The Rings while the sun set through the trees and sunk into the mountains.  I felt very isolated from the world which most of the time I didn't like but on those lazy sundays watching the sunset into the mountains, I was happy right there.

After Shawnee and the redneck compound I had decided that I couldn't take dirt roads anymore and I moved into East Stroudsburg with my friend Amber which unfortunately caused Josh and I to split.  We were on the third story of an apt building and I had a little music studio set up in the spare room.  Across the street was a church that had a giant neon cross that lit up the skies every night.  I would sit down at my rhodes and plunk out melodies and songs and stare at it.  I was very lost at that point in my life and it left me no comfort, in fact it made me feel dirty and like I was apart of the drug induced under belly of society.  My dad was terminally ill and back in my life after being estranged from him for 10 years. (which in its self was a head trip I could handle)  I had no clue what I was doing as an adult.  I knew I wanted to music and I wanted to get out of the poconos but I was distracted by coming to terms with the years of sorrow and anger with my father as well as facing the fact that he was dying, the mortality of my parents and myself. His girl friend- who was a saint- was really the only other help I had during that time.  I lost myself in booze and pills and I spent many nights staring at that cross.  It followed me into my dreams, like a peeping tom, one night it had spoken to me and told me I had to leave.  

I moved into the Pocono Pines with Josh's brother and a friend.  I was a bit weary about moving further onto the mountain which was further from where I wanted to be.  But it was quiet there and I was surrounded by really beautiful people that gave me lots of support through everything I was dealing with my father.  Josh and I soon reunited and he moved in.  I remember the long winters there, My friend Jay would come over and we'd listen to Beirut and drink a 12 pack and play games.  Those were the warmest winters I had since I left my moms house.  The symbolized everything that home and family was to me and my only regret was that I was too drunk to remember a lot of it.  There was a water fall across the street from my bedroom window.  I would frequently crawl outside onto the porch roof and listen to the water, play the guitar and sort myself out. Not shortly after the spring thaw, My father died. I got a call at 7 am and my heart had stopped.  It was so early and the house was quiet, I was waiting to meet with my siblings to discuss the next plan of action but  In the mean time, i crawled out onto that porch roof and watched the fog lift off of Lake Naomi  and played "No Ones Home" an acoustic guitar song that my Uncle Dennis wrote.  That song, that sky, that lake,  was the only way I made it through that morning. 

After a couple really long winters filled with great friends and hard winters I had set out to make a significant change.  I moved into my moms house in easton.  I had just joined a couple of bands, Josh and I had split for good and I had quit my day job to teach music lessons.  She has the most perfect kitchen window. The train would come through town blowing a middle C and when the leaves drop from the trees you can see the delaware river and lights from New Jersey.  I felt so close to the sea and NYC there.  It woke me up inside.  So close that one night after too much wine and a full moon reflecting off the river at me and my mom we set off with traffic our trusty pup to Sandy Hook to see the sun rise and introduce traffic to the sea!  It was one of my most favorite memories of my mom.  One i will NEVER forget and will always hold very near to me.  Shortly after I had quit drinking and soon after that, as if to test my might- a very very close member of my family, Liz was diagnosed with cancer and not but 9 months later she perished.  I remember sitting on my moms kitchen floor with a candle and a guitar looking at the moon shining through the window facing once again mortality.  About a year passed and Liz's daughter, my best friend Amy died. I knew at that point I needed to level up.  

Right about the time Amy passed away, Taylor and I had finally decided to take the leap from being simply band mates and bed fellows to genuine significant others and life partners.  We had gathered ourselves and some of the EGRESS troupe and moved into a band home by the airport on the west side of Bethlehem.  It started out with Taylor, Jaclyn, myself and Mat and not but 7 months later Mat left the band and left the house.  I remember my first night in the home, after having painted the living room listening to the planes fly over head.  I was so shell shocked at that point.  I was scared to even show excitement about this new endeavor.  For the fear it would all implode.  The skies here are amazing and the planes leave trails of glitter across the sky.  I get this funny feeling in my gut when the swoop overhead from taking off at LVAP.  Every plane filled with people.  People who have families and friends, whose friends have families and friends and the world instantly explodes into this massive bed of spiraling situations, thoughts and words.  The sunset through our upstairs bathroom window is the most colorful.  Occasionally when I time it right I will shower as the sun falls and think about my travels and all of the places I've been and All of the people I've met, all of the people that I am lucky t have and all of the People I have lost, to death, disease, addiction and even just in life.

Anywho, there it is. I hope these are the only homebound skies I see for a while. Hopefully one day someone will write about living with me, or loving me or losing me and this cycle will keep going.  The sun is down, the sky is dark and I will leave the curtains open for a peeping tom like me.

Part 1= Hometown Ghosts- PLOWS AMERICA TOUR-2013

It has officially been 10 days since we returned from our month long tour of the states.  I have been debating about this blogging process and the best means to go about it so its not too long.  I have come to realize, there is no way around it, so I have to decided to do it in week long incriments.
Week One:
If I was to be 100% honest with you all, I was hardly excited before we left.  In fact about 10 minutes into the van ride I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown in my head questioning why in the world I would be doing this. Its not that I don't love the band or my band mates and I love to travel but I hadnt had a single moment of reprieve since December and it was wearing me thin.  During the recording process it was recording then mixing EVERYDAY, then album art while in the mean time, bookings, emails, photo shoots and the like all being run solely by Taylor and Myself.  Then the album was out and it was the music video premiere party, and bookings every weekend leading up to the album release.  Then Mat quit the band, which made more immediate work for us then we could handle, but we did. We found, auditioned, and got a drummer, Chet! but he had prior arrangements for a couple of our gigs so we worked with two other of our favorite drummers, Shlomi and TeeJay.  Needless to say there was more work then any two people could handle.  Some how, we got as much of it done as we could and on August 23rd we left for our 3rd full national tour, and EGRESS PLOWED AMERICA.

We started in Delaware, Asylum 13 put together an AMAZING night, the place was packed, and we got an encore, it was the best and worst show to have first. (I only say worst because it set the bar so high that we were worried there was only one way to go from there, ha!) Afterwards we stayed in a Beautiful Home/ Mansion owned by a musician friend named Lyndon.  It was sprawling and clean, we each had our own sleeping quarters and he cooked us old fashioned apple and walnut oatmeal in the morning when we woke.  This is a shot of us and his wife.  It was the first of many tastes of the tremendous amount of support we were soon to receive along our way.  The next day we were in D.C at The Bier Baron with a friendly and enthusiastic band, The Torches and were happy to catch up with our friend Melina who was so kind and opened her home to us after the show.  The next morning was our first little haul down to Charlotte N.C.  We made it a bit before the sunset.  The venue was beautiful, it is called Petra's Piano Bar and the owner is a wonderfully supportive man, unfortunately the evening was a bit of a bust b/c it was their first pride parade in 19 years and the venue was not normally open on a sunday.  Howeer, it didnt get us down because we got to hang out with our amazing friends Valerie-- aka Miss Mousie from Hellblinki and the amazing fiddler Ian Moore.

We played in the streets, I tried my first concord grape which I searched for in every city there after and we went to rest our weary heads at Valerie's parents.  They had welcomed us back since the lat time they opened their door to us, they fed us and were so incredibly welcoming.  it's always nice to be brought into a parents home.  The next day we had a brief drive to Asheville, NC and I  have to say I was kind of expecting the show to be a bit of a bust. I was however so excited to share a bill with Skunk Ruckus and Miss Mousie, but I was like, it's Asheville on a monday? and I have to say I put my foot in my mouth.  We had a really fucking awesome time.  The bar upstairs from the venue was selling herbal tonic drinks and We played band Quizzo, which resulted in many, many laughs and crude jokes and then had a parade, and played our asses off.  Miss Mousie made me cry with her amazing voice in Dumpsters and Divebars and Skunk Ruckus was the perfect storm of balls to the wall--powerhouse tunes and we even got to catch up with the other Hellblinkis, Andrew and JP.  I think my heart grew like,,5 times bigger that night.  It was very apparent to me that I was  surrounded in love, and rich in free spirited friends with amazing talent.  As if that wasnt awesome enough, Valerie and Ian made us Falafel Waffles with all of the fixins for us to take on our way and they were AMAZING!  The crew or the "kids" as Taylor and I would frequently say,  stayed at JP's that evening and Taylor and I got a room at a hotel to ourselves. The following morning I sent him on a wild goose chase with me to find muscidine grapes which I did and then shortly after realized I was slightly allergic to them. Allergic enough for my lips to get puffy and burn and itch when I ate more then three of them but that didnt stop me.
  We left shortly after saying by to JP and we were off to Knoxville, TN.

We got to knoxville where we met up with the really sweet and awesome Lulu Skidoo from Sidecar Symposium.  We played in the streets and made some extra loot and that night we were joined for an awesome night of tunes by Sidecar Symposium and the ever mighty friends of ours, Ford Theatre Reunion.  The show was great and a really goid time, afterwards however there was an unfortunate event that took place and there was an apartment fire where we were staying that evening.  Thats about all I am going to say about that, except that we were very grateful no one was hurt and very, very sorry for the tenant whose apartment it was.  Here is a shot from after the show in this shot is SIdecar Symposium, Ford Theatre Reunion and us Egressians:

From Knoxville we went to Atlanta, GA it was wednesday the 28th, the day before Dragon Con so we weren't sure if that would work for or against us.  Unfortunately, there wasn't a great turn out at all, however The Extraordinary Contraptions joined the bill with us and were so awesome, they played their ever--loving asses off and were incredibly supportive by dancing and singing along to our songs, which made playing to a pretty empty room very, very bare able.  Afterwards, a friend of theirs named Dave, put us up in his hone and it was a really great place to get to stay. They had their own chickens and left out some eggs, garlic and a big cast iron pan for us to cook ourselves breakfast with and it was incredibly yummy.  After my breakfast settled I went upstairs to where Taylor and I slept and stole a quiet 15 minutes to myself to do some yoga.

~ These little moments on tour are little boosts to my morale and the definition of why we are doing this.  There is this whole world of folk out there that just honestly and whole-heartedly believe in supporting and keeping the arts alive.  People that actually BUY cd's and don't just rip them off the internet, people that Come out to shows, pay the door fee and then by $50 worth of merch, people that tell their friends about us, make music mixes with our music to get our name out there and then open their home too us.  People open their home to us, that is the highest compliment we can receive.  That people trust us and in what we are doing enough to allow us into their home,  sometimes even when they aren't  there.  Today there are so many challenges and I am not going to pretend that my generation has it any worse then any other generation, for everyone has had their crosses to bare, its just not easy to follow your own path as a free thinking human sometimes. especially when you have laziness, apathy and greed standing in the way of what you do.  People, society, the government sometimes even friends, family or band mates telling you that the dream you are chasing "isn't realistic."  I am not sorry to say, it is realistic. It is my reality and way of life and I am grateful for EVERY. SINGLE.  PERSON. FRIEND and FAN  that graces me with their presence and contributions and makes what I do work.  I am making it work for myself, Taylor- my love and partner, and our band of miscreants.  We played many-a-songs and planned many adventures and  Little did we know at this point in the tour  the AMAZING ups and downs that were to come.

Anywho, back to the happenings, we decided after leaving his house to busk the streets of Atlanta. There, we did INCREDIBLY well. John spotted a little nook by a building that wasn't occupied and we played for about an hour and a half and then packed up and set out for Alabama where we had a hotel for the night.  Before we begun the haul, we stopped at a grocery store where we brought in our coolers, did a shopping and then picnic-ed at the tables in the cafe area.  These little band picnics were some of my favorite times with everyone. I really felt like a family passing around the condiments, laughing at the day to day happenings, making fun of each other. I would often look over at Taylor and think to myself, we are doing so well for ourselves, Our crew is fed, you and I are organized, we have set up many adventures for everyone to have along the way and in the process we were spreading our " Mighty Seed "across the country. More to come in part 2-

Nostalgia makes the heart grow fonder. On the road- From My phone

I am not too sure how this will work out.  I am going to apologize in advance for any typos and things that just plain make no sense because I am blogging from my iPhone in the back of our band van, Clarence. Today was day 18 on the road.  I intend to properly blog the shows and happenings and the friends that have helped us along the way when I return home and I have proper use of a computer and can edit my pictures. A month long tour can be pretty epic, I simply  cannot do it from a phone in a van shuttling 70mph down route 5 in California.  So instead this will be more about my personal journey and not the matter-of-fact happenings of this tour.  

I have been in this band for almost 6 years. In those 6 years I have gotten sober, lost a mother figure to cancer,lost a best friend 3 days before my 29th birthday, i have watched someone very very close to me fall deeper into a heroin addiction, found out that someone i deeply loved wasn't making healthy choices for my emotional and at times physical well being, I my student load to 40 in 4 days at one point,  moved into a band house, lost a band mate, gained a bandmate, lost a friend and found a lover and mate, and have been on 5 tours, 3 of which were national, and sent on a cruise to Jamaica to at music.  And after all of that, today I found myself getting weepy leaving San Francisco.  

Ya see, growing up in a small town I had a pack of friends and I do mean pack.  We spent many days at a time together and sometimes even lived on each others couches.  There is one friend that is now my longest kept friend. Mike. <3 

Together we have said goodbye to too many friends and have put both many miles on this friendship and many physical miles between us.  He lives in Oakland and he put us up for the last two days we were out there and it was the closest I have felt to home since I've left the east coast.  Don't get me wrong I love my band family and Taylor is not only my boyfriend and companion but also my friend but Mike has known me since I was 13 and he gives the best hugs.  I am 30 now so that's  17years of growing, laughing, fighting, and saying goodbye to too many people.  I realized quickly that I had been missing that kind of friendship.  That unconditional love and protection.  That age that weathers a friendship into some who knows you and trusts you to their core. All of The inside jokes, the old memories, experiences, discussions, and changes create a certain sense of connection. 

I think it's easy, easy to let work or bills, ambition or lovers to get in the way of keeping those genuine connections strong.  I have been so occupied by this band and my ambition that I have missed birthdays, phone calls, and opportunities to catch up with people and friends I have had for a long time.  I have made many, many, many wonderful friends through this band. some fellow performers some not, and I am not giving them any less merit or saying they are any less valuable.  I'm just saying that the deep love and connection between me and my dear old friend, has made me want to nurture more of the connections I have in my life.  I have a very unfortunate tendency to become preoccupied by the things I am trying to accomplish for myself and my band mates.  Ya, see co-running a band, especially with your life partner is much like having a family.  Everything we do in the band to further the band, is to provide myself and everyone else the opportunity, to travel, create, perform and potentially make it more of a living for everyone. ESPECIALLY being on the road, we have to make sure all expenses are paid, the troupes are happy or at the very least content so that it is worth it for everyone.  The stress of having to push forward a business (in a sense) to not just provide for yourself and your lover but for four others you care about can be stressful and at times scary and that stress can be distracting from the other things that are happening around you.  

There are certain things I am going to implement into and out of my life when I return home and one will be improving the relationships I have in my life.  To try to live less guarded and be more open.  To not compare myself to others accomplishments, and when I falter and I do,... I will think of Mike, and my mom, my sister and my dear deceased friend Amy, and think of the very strengths and pretty things they see in me and use that as a reflection of who I am and what I can give to the people that choose to bless me, by being in my life. 

Nostalgia certainly makes the heart grow fonder and my memories and friends  keep me warm and are a reminder of what it is that really makes my life worth living.  Thank you to whom ever of you who may have read this. Thank you for being interested in what a humble little musician might have to say. Now go tell your friends and family you love them and if you don't have any, then know I love you. xo

"God's Country" EGRESS tours USA by train. 2013

Today, after a 27 hour train ride,  Taylor,  Jaclyn and myself returned home after being on the road for two weeks.  Brian Gardner the Promoter and curator, of the California event- "STEAMSTOCK" put together a kickstarter to bring to his festival 3 east coast bands. The bands were, Frenchy and the Punk, The Cog is Dead and This Way to the Egress.  I have to say I was a bit apprehensive about this trip. Being a 100% DIY band, I found it very difficult to relinquish control and just sit back and allow someone else, to book, promote, and organize logistics.  I have to say that although there were some bumps, some major some not, Brian and his fiancé Emily did a good job of taking on such a massive and new undertaking.  So there you have it, the kick starter was funded and on July 20th EGRESS  took the plunge.  Here is the Cross-Country Train Tour to STEAMSTOCK- Through the eyes of Lady Egress.

This tour was monumental for a number of reasons. With out getting too wordy, EGRESS has been at the brink of new horizons since December.  We released our second album "Mighty Seed" in May and shortly after our drummer, Mat had decided to leave the band to pursue starting his own business.  Although everyone of us were happy that he had found his passion, it was very difficult to let go and even more difficult to figure out the logistics of working with someone new only 2 months before we were to leave on a 2-week national tour.  It was almost as though the universe was taking care of us, like it was saying, you cannot stop, I will make sure things work, b/c lo' and behold, Chet came to us.  He rose to the occasion, learned a repertoire of 30+ songs  and fit in with the crew great.  We were happy that his first show with us could be the kick off show of the train tour!
We started in Philadelphia at Dorians Parlor.  It was a really really awesome show, it was great to have Chet with us and really awesome that our Philly family was so welcoming to him.

The next day we boarded the pennsylvanian amtrak train and took it to pittsburgh.

We got off in Pittsburgh and rented cars, drove an hour north where we went to a Primanti Bro's and had some famous sandwiches for our first band dinner of the tour.  After many laughs we carried on to our hotel, crashed and then awoke in the morning to begin our drive to Detroit.  This was our first taste of the taxi adventures of trying to load our gear. It was three bands, EGRESS a 5 piece, 2 of Frenchy and the Punk, 5 of the Cog is Dead and Brian and Emily.  It was an estimated 19 suitcases 4 back packs, a tuba, three guitars, and an accordion.

We were all a bit anxious riding into Detroit with the stories about how the city was in decline.  We got into town super early and found an awesome little lebanese place that had awesome food and raw juices and then went back to the venue and hung out a bit.  Here is a shot of Toobie Doo and the Punk hanging outside the venue pre show.

We played in this massive warehouse and art collective called Tangent Gallery.  The turn out for a monday night wasn't that bad, we did great in merch and were beginning to find our groove.  I was also visited by an old old friend Kerri.  It was so great to catch up and see each other after so many years.  We also got the ability to hang out with a couple dear fans who brought their mother out to the show.  I got to catch up and learn more about each of them and their lives.  This was just another reason I was reminded of why I love touring.  In short, our trip to Detroit was short lived, but I have high hopes for the city.  It had some amazing architecture.  I hope some artist move in and take advantage to the real-estate.  I hope to see it booming in 5-10. Here is a shot of us from that evenings show.

The next morning we ditched our rental cars & headed to the detroit amtrak station for our first significant haul.  Detroit to Chicago.  So begun the GIANT task of loading us and our gear on the train.

The train ride from Detroit to Chicago was roughly 5 hours.  It went very fast and I was overly eager to arrive.  I had been wanting to play in Chicago for a very long time.  I was supposed to go when I was a teenager with my best friend Amy.  We had talked about it for over a year.  I had never gotten to travel much when I was younger and I dreampt of the world out there.  I was a small town girl with my sites set on bigger things.  Unfortunately, before we could go Amy started dating a boy.  When the time came, she took her boy friend.  I was so upset we didnt talk for almost a year.  Amy passed away a little over a year ago now.  I miss her and think of her, every single day.  This trip to Chicago was important to me on many levels.  I felt as though I finally got my chance to go with her.  I thought of her every step of the way.  We had arrived in Chicago.

The weather was amazing and the venue was AWESOME, it was called The Wise Fool's Pub  It was adorned with the most beautiful paisley fabrics, lush lamp shades and pictures of old pin ups in the ladies bathroom.
 The most marvelous part was that we got to catch up with our dear friend  Mary Robinette Kowal.  Taylor and I met Mary on the first annual Steampunk Cruise.  She is an amazing puppeteer and author and is based out of Chicago.  She came out to support.  The show was good, the room was packed and EGRESS was very well received.  We had a great show and afterwards hung out and had a dance party to DJ, VOURTEQUE who was spinning some really awesome electro-swing.  We goofed off in the streets before leaving.

We had a hostel in an amazing neighborhood near Lincoln Park called "The Getaway".   It was quite wonderful and if you are ever in Chicago I would suggest staying there.  We caught a good nights rest and a shower and I felt as though I was experiencing a little bit of what it must be like living in a dorm.  We had four bunk beds which felt rather silly,  we are used to being in hotels with two twin beds, where the odd man out has to sleep on an air mattress.  I cant tell you how many times the rooms become a sea of mattress where you can simply walk in and its bed next to bed next to air mattress, lol.

The next morning we met with Mary at an even more amazing brunch place called "Toast." The food was out of this world, decently priced for Chicago, so we had a feast and a lot of laughs.  Again if you are ever in Chicago,.. GO.  We wandered around some thrift stores and bought some excellent fresh lemonade and before accompanying us back to our Hostel to catch our cabs, Mary gave us each a copy of her award winning book Shades of Milk and Honey.
It was a lovely lovely morning of catching up and seeing some of the most historic buildings still remaining from before the Chicago Fire in 1871.  This was just another reason of why I love touring. Friends, feasting, history and amazing sights. We said our good byes and started the journey from Chicago to Denver.

This was our first over night haul.  It was about 17 hours through the heart land where there was nothing but miles of plains and the bluest of skies.  It was really wonderful to pass through tons of little towns.  Heading through each station and seeing so many people with so many stories.

I won't lie, being on the train was nice and inspiring,  until the night fell that is.  We didn't have sleeper cars so we'd resort to sleeping in our chairs which reclined and had an ottoman of sorts.  It was very difficult because I have to fall asleep face down.  This was the first real obstacle.  I woke in Denver, fairly cranky.  The band seemed to have high hopes for Denver.  Seeing as though we didn't sleep well, we got breakfast and went to the hotel to sleep.  Joe's sister lives there so he went out and about.  the promoter seemed cool at first, they picked us up from the station,  built a train for the stage.  Unfortunately, the event was poorly, poorly planned and the Promoter, Double Helix Entertainment, LLC did not fulfill their agreement on the guarantee and stiffed three out of town touring bands.  I would not suggest working with them at all at any time.


We left Denver a bit deflated.  The shitty show on top of the promoter stiffing us, had everyone a it down in the dumps.  Emily, Brian's lady took care of us though the best to her ability and sent us home with cash.  We were all greatly looking forward the ride through the rockies.  It was over 24 hrs to california and the scenery was absolutely breath taking!  I seriously cannot even describe it.  We saw parts of the country only accessible by train.  It was breath taking view after breath taking view.  We entertained our selves in the evenings by playing games and Taylor and I would watch as the rest of the crew would get tipsy. Here is some of the beauty, in all honestly the pictures don't do it justice.

I think one of the things we got the biggest kick out of was all of the mooners on the Colorado river.  I think the final count was 29.  Apparently it is a giant tradition where many of the fisherman and rafters moon the passing amtrak train.  We spent many, many hours laughing about this.  It never seemed to lose its novelty, after all hineys are funny.

We eventually arrive in California where I got the chance to see my very best friend in the World, Mike. He picked us up and carted us around. He was a total trooper. We went into San Fran to meet up with My other friends Hethur and HAT where we roamed the streets, ate burritos and got caught up.

I love them all and it was really releiving to have a little bit of home so far away.
The next day we finally made it to our destination, Steamstock.  The space was amazing and right on the bay.  Mike, Hat, and Hethur came out and we all basically just hung out until we had to play late that night.  We had some sound issues but the show went on.  We were all really anxious because the next day started our 52 hour train ride back to Chicago to catch a connecting train to NOLA.  Our tour manager, Brian had stayed in Cali. so us three bands were on our own.  We woke up at the butt crack of dawn and went on our way.  We had the same amazing views back through California, I really enjoyed Nevada and Utah b/c we didnt see them on the way down b/c it was night.  We settled into the train and went on our way.  Unfortunately,  we had many issues, had to get towed by a freight engine and ended being delayed 8 hours.  Needless to say we were all relieved when we got back to Chicago.  We found a super cheap burrito joint, showered and went to bed.  We had time to kill the next day and went to the Free Zoo.  Everyone seemed to enjoy it for the most part, but Taylor, John and myself were very saddened by that jaguars living conditions so we left early and Taylor and I check our the botanical gardens which were beautiful.  I was eager to return to New Orleans.  Our train left that night.  We were officially on our way to our last show.
It is no surprise that I love New Orleans, and this trip there only ingrained that city deeper in me.  We arrive burnt out from riding the rails but were greetd by Cedric and the crew from Airship Isabella.  They are some of the most talented, amazing, and kind people I have EVER EVER had the chance to meet.  They carted us to the venue, put out a food and drink spread that was fit for a kings and were soooo considerate and welcoming.  They are the definition of taking care of your own and southern hospitality.  I cannot speak highly enough of them.  I was also so excited to see our friend Judith Kali.  She is just such an extraordinary performer and person and we have had thepleasure to have her perform with us on 2 occasions now and are going back down to NOLA in 3 weeks to be apart of her production called, Storyville Rising.  I am soooooo over the moon about this.  We also got to catch up with two friend we made during our last trip to the city, Shadow and Gwydion.

Sunrise over New Orleans Cemetery 

Anywho, I feel like I have rambled beyond anyones ability to remain interested so I am going to wrap this up.  Both bands that were on the tour, Frenchy and The Punk and the Cog is Dead are some of the most fabulous people in the world.  We could not have asked for better travel companions.  Everyone worked together and there was literally NO DRAMA.  We looked out for each other, put our heads together to solve problems and cheered each other on show after show.  I am proud to have shared this tour with them and to call them friends.  We had a 26 hour train ride home to philly.  Taylor and I curled up and passed out around 10 am.  We had pulled an all nighter then evening before in NOLA.  This was probably the most well rested sleep I had the entire tour.  I felt accomplished and happy to have my best friend and mate by my side.  All in all, this was an amazing experience.  I feel closer with my band mates.  This was probably the most enjoyed tour EGRESS has had as a unit.  We spent any times of stress bonding together and we spent our evenings being silly and laughing to pass the time.  I did yoga at every rest stop, and observed all my friends take in the massive splendor of the great wide open.  I love them all and am now growing more and more excited about our EGRESS PLOWS AMERICA TOUR this fall and to our 2nd show with our new addition, Chet this thursday in the home of the EGRESS INN, MUSIKFEST in bethlehem.   I just want to thank you for reading and coming on this journey with us.  I am humbled and grateful for my life and the people that choose to be apart of it. Now, I am going to leave you with some pictures that i didn't feel like adding to the story.
luv & sLoPpY KisSeZ
Lady E

3 White Horses in Utah

I spend most of my time trying to figure things out.  Mainly, how to make Egress work for myself, my partner and my band mates.  It's often just a questioning game.  

Should we be doing x, y or z?  Is this a smart move for the future of the band? I s this a smart move for me as a person? etc. 

It doesn't stop there however, I find myself thinking late at night about those who I have lost or who have left.  Trying to find some form of acceptance about how certain things have worked out.  Pondering how I have gotten here and what is it that I am really moving towards?  I know I am not seeking the "American Dream" 2.5 children, a mortgage, and working for the weekends or the random vacation, not that its bad, it's just simply,..... not me.  

This train tour is proof of that.  We set off last saturday for a two week tour by train across the USA.  This is probably the most mellow tour we've been on.  We've gotten to see friends in each city.  There has been a little bit of hassle when it comes to loading our gear from train to venue to hotel to train, but other then that it has been inspirational and rejuvenating.  Here is a shot of the 5 of us Egressians loaded into a cab, lol.  

Our entire crew of people get along great. Everyone has been considerate of each others space and moods. We have all worked together when it comes to packing and you would not believe what we have been able to pack into our cabs!  One of the things I love most about touring, is the time spent with the other performers you are touring with.  Working alongside professionals who have a shared goal,… to make their art, their lives mission.  Its inspiring and refreshing. It helps me get grounded when I am spending most of my time "trying to figure things out" or when I wake up to a really hurtful email that temporarily makes me feel lost and alone.  Most artists / performers that are running their own DIY future have the same concerns.  Plus, you get to hear their songs night after night!  From every tour I have beautiful melodies stuck in my head from the bands we've played with. From our tours with Joe Black, his charming rendition of Money Makes the World Go Round, to Hellblinki's These bubbles came from ants or even better yet my personal favorite,.. "I am"or their killer version of Bella Ciao which EGRESS has spent many a night dancing too. And don't forget Uncle Volty's Riding a Black Unicorn or Miss Mousie's Dumpsters and Dive Bars.  When Taylor and I did the steampunk cruse we were graced by Unwomans haunting lyrics and cello. And now, it is Frenchy and The Punk and The Cog is Dead.  Both of who are wonderful people just fighting their way along because they love to play. Its seems rather silly, That music keeps so many of us going and bonded together. It doesn't fill our bellies when we are hungry, it doesn't keep us warm when its cold or protect us from the storms, yet we fight every odd  with every inch of our might to continue.

The splendor and beauty of the countryside via train window has been unexplainable.  The massive wide open spaces, the canyons and mountains. It leaves me thinking of days long ago when settlers faced a similar journey in much tougher times. In saying similar I mean, people leaving what they have in search for something more.  Here is a shot of the glory there is no filter or editing used.

I have not been a saint all my life and I have many things that I have had to learn from and learn to accept and grow from and god knows I will be learning from until the day I die.  Right now I am on a train through UTAH listening to Three White Horses by Andrew Bird looking at this:
(again no filter just natural wonder. )

I am watching my friends, band mates and comrades gaze upon the same horizon and a similar future.  I sometimes wonder how we all got here, but here we are. Friends are the family we choose for ourselves and our songs are the glue. I fear one day if the songs fade the family may drift,….. but these experiences that mold me into the human I am becoming,.. will always be here and will always be between us.  I love the road.  Despite the fact that it is hard work on your body and spirit, and you need to be adaptable and realize its not nearly as glamorous as it seems half the time. But even still, that being said,..... it gets into your bones, the music, the travel, the wanderlust, the song.  It becomes apart of your DNA.  It becomes the only way you know how to breath.  It really helps that Taylor is beside me helping me fight the good fight every step of the way and that the rest of the Egress crew supports and hold faith in the choices that Taylor and I make for the betterment of the band. Its really easy to become the bad guy. Its even easier to blame others and not see your part in things.  Somehow through the endless nights and the stress of the road, we've remained a unit and THAT makes the good fight worth it.   I will blog more about the comings and going of the tour,… especially once its over.  With full details on each city and show.  I will be sure to go into a bit more detail about This Way to the Egress on the "Crazy Train"  I leave you now with this,.............

Dont Have a Husband, Don't Play the Trombone. These People.

im listening to -Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis- One of my favorite songs in the world, by one of my favorite artists in the world, editing pictures for flyers for our upcoming shows for Egress' new release.
 A wave of sentiment and nostalgia washes over me like the bar sweat from a friday night in a dull town.

I am looking at these photos,....... who are these people I spend all of this time with? How have I gotten here? Sometimes I feel like I have really just fallen deep into a can of PBR and haven't come out of the other side of the rabbit hole yet.
Where are the people that were once so familiar?  and who are these people that are now by my side, while feet are on the dash board, with scenery and stories passing by and we are honking hello to a new state.

These people who pack whiskey in brown bags, avocados that need to ripen into their lunch box, who wear couches as pants or hang bottles in the windows of Clarence. 

These people who miss New Orleans the same way I do, not because of the city that it is,.............
                                                                     but because the people it makes us by being there. 

The people who are just equally terrified of tumbling off of Route 1 into the pacific. 

The people who I yell at and I am sure want to yell back at me. 
Who harmonize, sometimes don't prioritize but meet me at the border anyway.

If we are defined by the experiences that make us, then perhaps we are all just booze soaked, memory stricken, fragile sons of daughters and fatherless daughters, singing O-bla-Di.

One of my favorite memories was playing on a street corner in New Orleans, there was an SUV driven by a woman with her 2 daughters in the back, The city streets were packed and they kept circling around looking for parking. Big eyes peering from the back seat. Upon their 3rd time around the block, the back window rolled down a little more and what appeared was a tiny hand offering me a flower, I ran to the corner and accepted her gift. A flower for our songs.

I misplaced that flower since then, Like i have misplaced many friends, some easier to let go then others, But i think of that flower often, and the expressions on my peoples face, and should I misplace any of them like Ive misplaced others, Ill store them in my shell along side that flower and that New Orleans day.

Pulling Threads (self fulfillment and success)

Are you happy with where you are?  Do you spend a decent amount of time saying or thinking I wish? Or better yet,  do you make excuses that "one day" you'll get too,.. ya know,.. when X and Y is done?

I have been doing a lot of reading and thinking this day.  I have also been doing a lot of fawning over last nights show. Ya see, Taylor and I were booked at a local production called SILK tease. Curated and produced by the incredibly spunky and hot burlesque and business tycoon
 Jacqueline Hyde.  It was a wonderful production with burlesque from around the tri-state area and music and hosting by Myself as my alter ego Mamma Mammaries and my partner in crime and light in my eye, Taylor.  In all of this fawning over last nights show, I began to think about how splendid it is to have my life. I wont say lucky because luck had nothing to do with it, I have worked my ass off to get here, but before i digress, it is splendid. I meet performers from all over the world, I travel, I stay up late singing, writing and playing songs. I have 5 totally awesome bandmates who have great hearts and are very accepting of each others little quirks. I have a mom and a sister that are very supportive in my endeavors as well as my job. I am free to be creative and think with out the restraints that a lot of our society does.  I have resulted to communal living with my band mates so I have very little worry about bills, I do not have a bank account, or credit cards, or a car  so I have very little financial stress. Granted I don't have health insurance,  other then yoga, eating a diet rich of fresh and fermented foods and Kombucha. I also don't have a retirement fund, but I don't ever intend to retire; I believe retirement is for people who typically don't like what they do because when you love your job, you don't work a day in your life.

Anywho, in reflecting on all of these things I began to think about the people that sit at home perhaps wishing that their life was something different then it was. People that may ask the questions or say the things I had stated above, I wish, One day, etc. Not that we shouldn't dream, its important to have goals, however the difference between "dreams" and Goals are action. This I know. Because of my action.......

5 years ago I was living in a grim little town which in some ways I love, working a day job, teaching nights and spending my off time drinking away my discontent at at random shows Id play at. I had a boyfriend who was in fact, a very good, hard working guy,... but we had grown apart and wanted different things out of life. I wanted to play music and travel, he wanted to work and have a "home life"
Anywho, for various reasons my days grew darker, at the hand of the death of my father, my various addictions and my constant need to be "dreaming" about a life I wished I had, I was hollow.
Until one day, something in me snapped,.....and not in the Michael Douglas- Falling Down kinda way, I just simply asked a very important question, the right question. "why did I have to live my life to societies standards, or to my boyfriends standard?" who exactly was telling me in order to be successful I had to work a 9-5 at a job I could only tolerate and plan my little excerpts of joy for vacations and yoga classes?  I knew other people were living the life I wanted cos there is all kinds of music and art I love and it comes from somewhere. I wanted it to come from me too.

So, I packed my bags, closed down my house, quit my day job and decided that from that point on I was making music my sole priority. Living for today with a healthy balance of still acknowledging the future, given i don't prematurely depart this earth. 4 years later,......... here I am, about to embark on a cruise to Jamaica not only with my band mate and partner, my boyfriend who shares the same drive, goals and passions as I do. I have put my eyelashes in 45 of the 50 states and will soon be making pans to leave this country.  I played along side amazing performers last night that are as driven and motivated as I am, I get to share the stages with people that put the same amount passion and hard work into what they do, as we do.  I see the world through my eyes and THAT is the most liberating thing I can say.
It makes me grateful everyday.  It makes me burst with love and compassion. It makes want to live long an healthy. It makes me want the people that want that as well, to find it.

So i challenge you to this,.... anyone that maybe reading this,...... ask yourself,. Am I happy?
What is success to me? what do I have to do to achieve it?
Perhaps theres some parts of your life you can look at and change the I wish I could, to I am going to and Im going to now. Or perhaps this just works for me and not for you and you think im blowing it out my ass lol. Either way, today I am happy and i hope you are too.