I have sat on the idea of writing this blog since we reached more than a quarter of our Kickstarter goal for recording our new album in the first 8 hours. I have been reluctant to start it because I have found I have been at a loss for words. Somehow solely saying Thank You doesn't feel worthy enough. How can I properly express to you, and our fans what your belief in our music does for me as a person, a woman, a musician and a human? So, here I am giving this another try. (And, THANK YOU.)
I often have friends tell me that I should write a book or some memoirs. That the experiences I have lived in my life, people would be interested in hearing. That it would make a good film or TV drama. It's weird to hear, because frankly sometimes I wonder why anyone would be interested at all. That thought doesn't come from a place of insecurity or low self-esteem but from a place where I realize that there are millions of people in this world with stories of their own. Our stories aren't special, it's what those stories inspire us to become. Perhaps one day I'll tell you about my life growing up in a family of musicians, not having roots for many years, my battles with drugs and alcohol, or the multiple deaths that bring me tears even as I type this. Until that day, I am just going to speak about the aspects in which most of you know me - my place and experience in This Way to the EGRESS. (and btw, Thank You)
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| Photo Credit: Matt Blum of Lightly Salted Photos |
Almost 7 years ago, after my father died, I left my hometown in hopes to leave my demons behind me and find a sort of new musical family. That is when I met Taylor. The second I met him I knew that we needed to be working together. It was rather cosmic really, I couldn't explain it, I just felt as though I had already knew him. Never once when I met him did the thought enter my mind that he would also become one of my best friends and life partner and that over time it would grow to be one of the most functional personal relationships I'd ever have AND get to share my passion for music and our band with someone who means this much to me. Through out the life of EGRESS we have had many faces come and go. Not only in members but also in friends that took an active role in the development and support of EGRESS. It is amazing to me how every. single. one of them have a piece of my heart, very specific memories I carry of them and how their time with me in this project has molded me into who I am now. (Thank You)
See, I had been in many other projects prior to EGRESS but none of them had taught me the amount of self-awareness that you need to make a creative project work with so many other people. In the last year alone the band has gone through some major transitions. Ones that have majorly molded the sound of the new album and the dialog and relationships between all of us. Monumental changes that sometimes blur the lines between friend and band mate but changes that have ultimately made me look deeper into myself and discover what foot print I am trying to leave. In the beginning of the band I had no understanding of balance. I was so ambitious that I ended up missing out on many non- EGRESS related parts of life, like birthdays, and weddings. It wasn't until I missed the last days I was able to have with my best friend Amy before she died that I really woke up and realized that I had missed the point. Yes, I am a musician and yes I am choosing to fight the good fight and sacrifice modern comforts to create a life that works for me and not a life I work for, but ultimately it's about the people I share it with. (Thank You for allowing me to share it with you) That was a ridiculously sober and scary realization. This eye-opening experience was further validated when our first drummer left the band and I had realized that I spent so many years being stressed about the business of running a band and making it work for everyone so we could all remain doing this, that I alienated myself from my art, my friends and from the childish part of me that took time to stop and roll around in the grass. Since then my entire focus has been on trying to create a balance and be comfortable in it. That is why this new album is so important to me.
We entitled the album, This Way to the EGRESS' "Great Balancing Act". It really seemed to name it's self. We are all in some sense of he word doing our own "Great Balancing Act" to continue to make this music and project happen. Most members in the band are balancing their jobs and schedules with other projects as well as sacrificing personal lives and business lives. I however am focusing on balancing my inner self. Creating a balance between human and machine. Business and Art. Friend and Boss. Sound and Feeling. Surviving and Living. Social Media and true social interaction. In fact it is beautiful outside and I have stared at the computer for the last hour and 45 minutes so I am going to wrap this up so I can spend some time outside creating a balance. But before I go, I think I have discovered a proper way to say Thank You to all the fans, friends, and people who not only helped on the Kickstarterand believe in our Great Balancing Act but to all the people who have been here at one time or another along the way.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. Your support of EGRESS has meant the following:
~You have personally helped steer the future of music. In a sea of auto-tuned pop stars and recycled beats and riffs, you are keeping music alive by supporting the musicians and artists that are dedicating everything they've got on a more colorful further. Personally, I will record this album with every inch of my heart and soul and with every bit of fury I can muster. Fury that is worthy of your support.
Thank You.
~You have helped a person. A fellow human, continue to find a way to make a positive impact in her community. In the day and age where technology is vastly effecting the way we interact with our fellow humans, you have helped me really continue communicate, meet and exchange sincere and real engagements with people through my music, meeting them at shows, traveling, and collaborating. Also to swallow my own issues and be real with myself enough to communicate with my band mates even when it is about subjects that are less than comfortable to discuss.
Thank You.
~You have done a part in fueling an independent business, which in turn will give by fueling a local economy, by purchasing our merch and band needs from local business' and photographers etc. Going to an independent producer and not a label and keeping our rights and dollars out of corporate pockets. This is one small step towards developing a future built on things we believe in and can feel good about. Thank You.
~ You have helped a couple watched their goals of running, fronting and starting a band for their future come to life. Despite the endless hours, and literal blood sweat and tears Taylor and I have pumped into this, none of it would be feasible without people who like what we do. Thank You.
~ In a world where people say you can't. That is not realistic (even sometimes when my very own band mates say things like that) you have validated that is not true. People do care, people are listening, music and the arts matter. And if we don't keep trying and pushing boundaries than we will never get any further. You have proved that we don't need to live our lives as dictated to us but to pave our own path. And to not listen to the nay sayers. I will continue to trust my gut and not second guess the tough decisions that Taylor and I sometimes need to make. That security is difficult to find sometimes. You have helped me make those calls. Thank You
~Sometimes in the midst of doing all of this, when I am broke, tired, burnt out, have no time because of deadlines, wake up to lousy emails from angry people, have to juggle the band members personal lives just for basic scheduling, and have no time to do basic human things I become so over whelmed I lose sight of these beautiful things that we allaccomplish together. However YOUR SUPPORT has helped show that I need to practice a certain mount of self-care because if I burn out, there will be nothing left to give and you all deserve whatever we can muster to give back. Thank You.
This Way to the EGRESS" Life in Pictures.
Thank You.
Thank YOU.
Love and sincerest gratitude,
Sarah
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